Reviews are one of those magical things that go by the ironic rule: The Worse, The Better. I much prefer AA Gill when he’s lambasting a restaurant for its waiters’ ineptitudes than when he is serenading it with praise.
Back in Aberdeen, a friend of mine’s house was decorated with a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Taylor Lautner as Jake in the Twilight movies. It was disconcerting to say the least. The first time I encountered it, I was drunk and it was very dark. I didn’t get over the shock for about a week.
It would seem, however, that poor Taylor, although much-admired by the female population of Northern Scotland, is faring rather a lot worse in the following review of his new film.
It’s so bad, it’s fantastic. And I thought my friend Vicki would appreciate it, and it’s her birthday so here it goes…
Think of Abduction this way: There’s the Bourne Identity, then way below that is Mark Wahlberg’s Shooter. Then there’s 50,000 feet of crap. Underneath that is Liam Neeson’s Unknown. Dig another 100,000 feet until you hit a liquid-y orange-and-brown ooze and there you will find Abduction, a movie so bad it shouldn’t be allowed to call itself a movie. It should be called bad performance art for troglodytic, subhuman Caucasian bed-wetting females with a predisposition for shirtless, roundhouse-kicking dildos. Comparing Bourne Identity to Abduction is like comparing Beyonce’s ass to Danny Devito’s: Sure, they’re both big, but one you want to tap and the other you want to shave and disinfect before you feed to stray dogs.
Read the rest here.
“This guy just walked into the library wearing a grey dressing gown. There’s a line, and he crossed it.”
Yeah, that was me.
Thanks to Caitlin, for the screen grab!
Post-dissertation Aberdeen is warm and sunny and chilled out. Back home in Ireland, our dog Bailey is relaxing. After I hand in my essay, I’m doing the same.
It’s sunny outside and has been for the past week. I’m stuck inside with my dissertation and an essay. There is a whole list of things I’d rather be doing.
Right now – that’s definitely on the list.
The blog will be slow for the next couple of days due to academic commitments. Go outside, or read a book. Or listen to Sunny Afternoon in the sun on my behalf:
Filed under Aberdeen, Music
“Yarn bombing is a type of graffiti or street art that employs colorful displays of knitted or crocheted cloth rather than paint or chalk.”
Potholes by the Seine
Parking meter, Vancouver
In other news, Jamie Oliver is apparently planning to open an Italian restaurant across two floors of the Esslemont & Macintosh building on Union Street in Aberdeen. Ever since I watched his TED Talk video about fast food regulation, the man has become one of my idols. What a shame I’ll have graduated and disappeared from these grey shores.
The building in question has been boarded up since the department store within went bust and was shut down just before I arrived at uni. It, like the rest of the main street of Aberdeen could do with the business some one like Oliver could bring to the area.
Esslemont & Macintosh, Union Street
Filed under Aberdeen, Art
The 25th of January is the birthday of the great Robert Burns, one of Scotland’s most famous poets and widely recognised as the nation’s national poet. Burns was a pioneer of poetry written in the Scots language, though he also wrote in English and in a “light” Scottish dialect, which could be understood beyond the Land of the Saltire.
Traditionally, a Burns supper is had on or near the date of his birthday. I’m going to one this weekend with the Aberdeen MedSoc – ceilidh n’ all. In the mean time, having finished my exams, I will now endeavour to dispense of all knowledge recently memorised.
Here’s a bottle and an honest friend!
What wad ye wish for mair, man?
Wha kens, before his life may end,
What his share may be o’ care, man?
…Then catch the moments as they fly,
And use them as ye ought, man:
Believe me, happiness is shy,
And comes not aye when sought, man.
Also – it’s a strange place to find beauty but some of these fixed-gear bikes are stunning works of art.
Kudos to Erik for leading me to these!
It’s my birthday and I’ve spent the day in Queen Mother Library working on my dissertation which isn’t due for another three months. Sadly, there’s nothing else to do because Aberdeen University is in the midst of Exam Fear and nobody will even go for a celebratory pint with me.
I’m writing about class and the work of Pierre Bourdieu – this photograph pretty much sums it up:
I was sent a link to Burberry’s The Art of the Trench project today, and I’m fairly sure my next big purchase is going to have to be a Burberry coat.
Maybe I’ll get one for cheap at Armstrong’s of Edinburgh.
Anyway – I’m off to the cinema, but check out this clip of comedian/gymnast Larry Griswold in a routine he performed on the Frank Sinatra Show in 1961. It improved my birthday immensely.
So did this.